


some branch of stars we see

by Cloudnine101



Series: Stormpilot Stories [12]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Blood, Cuddling & Snuggling, Falling In Love, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Jealousy, Multi, Pining, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-13
Updated: 2016-02-29
Packaged: 2018-05-13 17:49:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5711491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cloudnine101/pseuds/Cloudnine101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>"You don't have a family, and you're helping Finn to find his."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yeah," Poe says. "Yeah, that sums it up pretty nicely."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Rey steps forward. Her face is cool. "Help me, too. Help me, and I'll help you."</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>[Post Episode VII - Poe, Finn and Rey build new lives together]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_1_

" ⁃ this is the place," Poe says. "Doesn't look like much."

He scuffs a rock with his boot. It rattles away from them, down the mountainside. There are dunes of dust everywhere. 

"It should be here." Finn's standing with his side to the sunlight. He's shielding his eyes with one hand, peering down at the tracker's screen, which is cracked. "I don't - "

He stops. They're quiet, for a while. The wind blows up the sand grains, sending them spinning.

"Could be worse," Poe says. "We could be in deep space."

Finn snorts. They turn together, and start looking back the way they came. If Poe squints, he can still make out the ship's blurred outline, distorted by heat and the narrowing of his eyes.

"Hey," Poe says, because Finn's not smiling. "We'll find them."

"It was just a lead," Finn says. "I knew that. But it was so - "

"Promising," Poe finishes, with a shake of his head. "I got my hopes up as well."

Settling himself on the ground, Finn starts searching for their water bottles. Poe watches the strong lines of his arms gently twist and shimmer. After a while, Finn looks up. "They could be dead."

"Doubtful," Poe says. "They're _your_ parents, Finn. They'll be survivors."

"Just like me," Finn says, with the barest hint of a laugh. Poe claps his shoulder once.

 

_2_

They're back at the base. It's midday - dewy, warm and wet. With no operations yet in sight, Poe's teaching Finn yet another card game. They serve to pass the time, and allow Poe time to look at Finn - the way he smiles, folds his hand, stands to state out of the window, mouth gaping wide and wet and red.

"She's back," Finn says, "Rey's back." As if it wasn't perfectly obvious the first time around. Jealousy, Poe reminds himself, is a waste of everybody's time, including his own.

"Go get her," Poe tells him, but Finn's already halfway out the door, looking back over his shoulder.

"You coming?" Finn asks.

Poe upends his chair in haste.

 

_3_

This time, it's the three of them who go searching. Rey wears her hair in endless braids that sway around her back and neck. Finn's enamoured with her - that much is plain. It's a sudden exchange of affection.

Poe doesn't particularly like Rey, but he knows that it's unfounded, so he keeps it to himself. It's pointless, anyway - Rey's a charming kid, if a little blunt - so young, too, young and gritty and determined. She reminds Poe of himself at that age. He was twenty when he first became a pilot. Ten years before that, the Troopers had barged down the walls. 

Poe looks at her, and he thinks, _I could love you, if you let me - if you'd allow me to keep loving him, too. If it wasn't just the two of you sitting on his bunk and smiling._

 

_4_

They end up in a city. They're sitting around the same table. Finn and Rey's legs are rubbing underneath it. Rey's laughing fully, now. It seems to fill the space between them and Poe, sucking him in. Poe can almost imagine that he has a sense of whatever hushed conversation they're having.

"Next round's on me," Poe says, because they need time to be alone, don't they? Finn has to tell Rey that they're finding his family - and they will find them, that much Poe knows. After that - who can tell? Maybe Finn'll want to go home. Maybe Rey'll creep back into whichever swamp she came out of.

Poe's surprised at the bitterness in his own thoughts. It's not that he dislikes Rey, exactly. If circumstances had been different, he'd probably like her a little _too_ much - but Finn wants Rey, and Rey wants Finn, and Poe was _here first_. It's the same urge he's had since he was a kid - not to be replaced, upended, moved along. It's a problem when you grow up in somebody's spaceship. 

 

_5_

Seeing Rey fight is a revelation. They're on the run from bandits, cutting clean swathes through the streets. Poe's firing backwards over his shoulder, dragging Finn along by the hand - and then there's a man in front of them, and Poe can't stop himself in time.

Rey can. She sticks a hand into the back of his belt, and pulls him away. The man's knife slices away the top part of his robes, but Finn's already sent him reeling with a right-hook. Rey whirls to one side, turning back to their opposition; she moves by inches, twisting and gliding. Poe is transfixed - by her grace, and by Finn's bloody knuckles, Finn's moving lips as he says that they should _run_.

 

_6_

Necessity demands that they share a bed. There isn't enough room, or so Finn says - and anyway, Poe's hardly complaining. They pile in, side by side. Poe finds himself pressed against Finn's chest. Rey is turned away from their both, sectioned off in her own little cocoon.

Finn's mouth opens and closes as he breathes. Poe listens to the noises he's making. His abdomen vibrates. Poe shuts his eyes, and the sound of his breathing mingles with Finn's and Rey's. They're all part of some great big ship, the pieces clanking and whirring.

When Poe wakes in the night, his head is pillowed on Finn's shoulder, and Rey's hand is on his waist. Poe stares down at it - her tiny calloused fingers, turned almost pale by the moonlight. He reaches down and runs his own hand across them. The sheets rub his waist. Poe looks up to find her watching him.

 

_7_

Poe spends the rest of the following morning at the local shooting range. Bad weather drives him back to the hotel. Dissatisfied, Poe sits in the window seat, one leg drawn up to his chest, watching the rain trickle down the glass. The clouds are purple and puce.

Behind him, Finn and Rey are pressed together, laughing. Finn has Rey's hand in his. There's a certain something in his eyes - a longing, Poe'd call it. Rey's smiling. If Poe turned just a little more, he'd be able to make out their undistorted reflections. Finn's belt buckle catches the light.

"Do you want to join us?" Rey asks. She's about to to trip over Finn's feet again. They're both terrible dancers. Poe has been dancing on missions for years. He can waltz with the best of them.

"Sorry," Poe says, "I don't. You two have fun." He waves a hand, gesturing for them to continue. For the first time in days, Finn meets his eyes. Poe swallows hard.

 

_8_

The following morning sees them packing up their belongings. Poe's had his stuff ready since sunrise. He's watching Finn try to fold his, and is about to offer to help, when Rey says, "I don't have a family, either. They left me behind."

"On Jakku," Poe says, keeping his voice low. He turns to face her. Rey's cloth sack is hefted over her shoulder.

"You don't have a family, and you're helping Finn to find his."

"Yeah," Poe says. "Yeah, that sums it up pretty nicely."

Rey steps forward. Her face is cool. "Help me, too. Help me, and I'll help you."

"Sure," Poe says. "I'll try to."

They get away in such spectacular style that Poe almost forgets to keep his promise.

 

_9_

Finn and Rey are standing in front of him, one on either side. They're blocking his view of the exit. Switching the ship into auto-pilot, Poe smiles at them, twisting in his seat. Finn's face is steely and fierce and beautiful. Rey's hands are bunched by her sides - she's firm, but waiting as patiently as she can, calm and perfect.

"We have a proposition for you," Rey says, and Poe laughs.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _The way they sleep, Poe thinks, it's like - like a mass. There's Rey parts and Finn parts and Poe parts, and he's always in the middle, the lucky one, with Finn's head on his chest and Rey's hand on his._

_10_

The way they sleep, Poe thinks, it's like - like a mass. There's Rey parts and Finn parts and Poe parts, and he's always in the middle, the lucky one, with Finn's head on his chest and Rey's hand on his.

"Poe," Rey mumbles into his neck, "Poe, I can't sleep."

Poe looks at her, craning his neck. It aches, but it's worth it. She's always calmer when she's tired.

"Try closing your eyes," Poe suggests, running a hand down her back.

Rey shakes her head. "I can't," she says. "You _know_ that I can't."

Poe pulls her closer to him. To his left, Finn shifts, subconsciously pressing nearer himself, so that the whole of his side is aligned with Poe's chest. There really isn't enough room in this bed for the three of them. Poe presses a kiss to the top of Rey's head. The novelty of that will never leave him. There'll always be a little spark - these are the people I love, and this is what I can do to them. Watch!

Rey falls back to sleep quickly. Poe drifts off when the sun starts drifting through the blinds, only to be jostled awake by Finn's elbow in his ribs.

 

_11_

"And this must be your partner," the woman says, smiling politely. "You two make such a lovely pair."

It takes Poe a moment to realise she isn't looking at him. She's facing Finn, and speaking to Rey, who's saying something, something else, and Finn's hand is on Rey's arm, as though she might slip away from him still.

Poe can't breathe. "I'll fetch more champagne," he says, bending close to Finn's ear.

Finn turns. "Are you sure?" he says. "We'll come with you."

The woman turns. "Oh," she cries, clasping her hands together, and the frill around her head puffs up. "Another pilot! My, my! Tell me, who might you be, and how are you connected to these charming young things?"

You and them. You and them. Poe knows she's a nice woman. Poe knows he's getting this wrong. But the blood's pumping to his head, and he's never been the smartest. Winding his arm around Rey's waits, he slides in-between them. Finn's hand fits neatly into his own.

"I'm their boyfriend," he says, and the woman's shock is unmistakeable. She recovers herself well, and returns to her appraisal of his career. Poe feels the tension in his shoulders loosening. He can't meet Finn's eyes.

 

_12_

"What was that about?" Rey asks, as they leave the building.

Poe slows his pace to a walk. He's been itching to get out all night. "Nothing," he says, and tries for a grin. "Nothing to worry about."

"It didn't look like nothing." Finn catches onto his sleeve. His touch is gentle - so gentle. Poe's throat is clogged up. He can't speak. He looks away, down towards the ground.

Rey an Finn so beautiful. Rey's wearing Jedi robes that swirl around her every time she moves or turns her head or even sighs. They're inky black. She's small and strong, and Poe wants to collect her in his arms and hold her close to him until all of her pain leaves her.

And Finn - Finn is breathtaking. He's wearing a suit. His pilot's stripes are running along his arm. He has two, now, and Poe can remember when he got both of them, and how happy he'd been - how happy they'd both been, and how Rey had kissed Finn, full on the mouth, clutching his lapels, and Poe could hardly stand to watch, because he'd wanted it so badly that he ached. Every time Finn smiles, Poe's knocked down.

"What's going on?" Finn presses. "You can tell us."

Rey's itching to speak. Poe knows it. Any second now, she's going to snap, and he's going to crack. So Poe walks a little faster, until they're both a fair distance away from him. He collapses onto the edge of a water fountain and puts his head in his hands.

 

_13_

Finn and Rey don't come by his room for almost a day afterwards. It hurts more than Poe thought it would, and he was figuring on a lot. When the door finally opens, Poe's on his feet, clutching the gun he'd been polishing.

Finn's lip twitches. "Easy, there, soldier."

Poe puts the gun down. "Sorry," he says, and the words rush out of him. "I'm sorry for last night, too. I shouldn't have been that way, I was just - I overreacted."

Rey shuts the door behind them. Finn's already toeing off his boots and lying down on the bed, one arm behind his head. Poe's heart swells to see him so relaxed, so comfortable here.

"We forgive you," Rey says, crawling underneath the covers beside him, "and we will always forgive you. I'm not sure you understand that."

"I don't," Poe says. He closes his eyes.

 

_14_

Poe is tired. He's _tired_. He can't think straight. The warning lights are flashing inside his helmet, but the ship's already crashed - nothing he can do about that. He has to get out - he knows that - but there's a pain in his head, and one of his eyes isn't working. There's blood in it. Poe blinks it away. The right-hand side of the cockpit comes back into view, a faint blur. Poe tears off his helmet and throws it to the side.

When he climbs out of the plane, he collapses onto the turf. There are plants growing here - little, green shoots, winding up the sides of the trees. Poe reaches out and holds one of them. He crushes it in his palm. There's mud in-between his fingers. The sunlight's streaming down through the branches, and it's raining down on him. Poe lies on his back and waits for rescue.

 

_15_

Poe wakes in the infirmary bed. There's somebody shouting. Rey's standing there, bold and magnificent, and she's yelling, "Why aren't you doing anything?"

"Poe," Finn says, holding his hand, and every part of Poe is screaming. "Poe, look at me. You're gonna be okay. I promise."

"'Course I will," Poe says, and laughs, and it hurts. "I can't - my eye - "

"You're going to be okay," Finn repeats, and Poe relents, sliding backwards, and when he next opens his eyes, and he doesn't know where he is. There's something sticking to his cheek. Poe picks at it. There's gauze over his eye, covering it, and he knows what that means, doesn't he?

"I'm okay," Poe says.

"You're awake," Rey shouts, and starts towards him. She wraps her arms around his torso. Poe winces. He taps her back gingerly. "I thought you weren't going to wake up."

"Why not?" Poe says. "I'm back here now. I'll always come back to you."

Rey laughs. She shakes her head, and tells him that she can't understand him at all, teeth gritted. Poe's on too many pills to mind.

 

_16_

His eyesight will return, he's told, but it will take time - as though, if Poe is patient enough, somebody will wave a wand and he'll be whole again.

"You are whole," Finn says, hand cupping his cheek, the one without the scar. His finger presses against the corner of Poe's eye. "Don't let anybody tell you otherwise. If they do, I'll kick their ass. Rey will, too. She's got the Jedi powers, right? They've gotta be good for something."

"I heard that," Rey says, from across the room. She comes back into Poe's line of vision holding a holopad. "How are you feeling?" Her voice is tender.

Poe shrugs. "Better, I guess." He wiggles the fingers of his hand. "Get over here."

Finn curls into one side of him, and Rey takes the other. Poe's back in the centre. He's missed this; he's missed it so much. He looks up the skylight.

 

_17_

"The next time you decide to take a solo mission into uncharted enemy territory, consult with us first." Rey's first tightens around the sleeve of his jacket. She's glaring at him. "Is that too much to ask?"

Poe winces. "It was an important job?" he hazards.

Finn snorts. He ruffles Poe's hair as he passes. Poe reaches out to bat at him, but Finn's too quick. He's wearing his pilot's uniform and has his helmet underneath his arm. He's excited, Poe knows. Poe's going to spend the rest of the day watching the planes going by, waiting for him to come back safe. That's his plan, anyway.

"Master Luke said he wouldn't mind another student," Rey's telling her, dragging him up towards a bare outcrop of rock. "This might help your eye to heal more quickly."

Master Luke is, put simply, terrifying. He lives alone and eats alone. There are rumours that he had a liaison with Han Solo, which is scary enough by itself, seeing as Han Solo's a living legend. And now Poe's definitely going to be spending the morning with him, and possibly the afternoon, and maybe the evening, and he's absolutely going to stick his foot so far up his throat that he chokes on it.

Rey's smiling at him. It's starting to fade slightly. "What do you think?"

Poe bares his teeth in what he hopes is an approximation of a grin. "Fantastic," he says.

 

_18_

Poe hasn't wanted to sleep so much in a long, long time - not since his first days at the academy, when every second had been a mixture of homesickness and physical exhaustion.

"Master Luke told me that he enjoyed your company today," Rey says, cross-legged on the bed. "He said that you were a quick study."

"Good thing, too," Poe says, "because I do not want to be on the wrong side of him."

He collapses onto his back. Rey edges in beside him. "Did I bore you?" she says, quietly.

Poe shakes his head. "No. No, not at all. I'm just - weary. I could sleep for years. How do you cope with that much work?"

Rey shrugs. "I think of other things," she says. She adds, "You and Finn, mainly. Sometimes I pretend I'm back on Jakku, and I remember how lucky I am to be here." Rey's expression is honest - unguarded. Poe kisses her. She tastes of salt.

"What sorts of things about me and Finn?" Poe asks, teasingly.

Rey hits him with a pillow. Poe feels his way backwards, laughing, saying, "Come and try me, then."

Rey straddles his hips. Her hands press against his shoulders. She rolls of him, and beams, and hugs him. When Finn finally does return, they're still in each other's arms.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"You know what you need?" the pirate says, as Poe snaps the handcuffs around his wrists. "Adventure."_

_19_

"You know what you need?" the pirate says, as Poe snaps the handcuffs around his wrists. "Adventure."

Poe snorts. "I've got more enough happening in my life right now, thanks. If it's any consolation, you took a good shot at stealing our supplies."

The pirate shrugs. "The First Order would've executed us for so much as looking at their guns," he says. "Your bunch is softer. Have you ever thought about getting married?"

Poe throws him down into a holding cell and locks the door.

 

_20_

"Why are you here?" Master Luke's asking. It's a day after the attack on the base. Everybody's still a little jumpy, and General Organa's barking at everyone who comes into her line of sight. Poe'd thought it safer to come out here. 

Poe smiles. "You can't fly a plane with one eye."

Master Luke's face doesn't shift. "You could, if you trained. Why are you actually here?"

Rey's walking back up the hill. She's carrying the several dozen rocks and leaves that Master Luke sent her to get. In Poe's opinion, all of these supposedly strength-giving tasks are a load of baloney. If Poe wanted alone-time with a Jedi, he'd pick Rey over Skywalker any day of the week.

"I don't know," Poe says. He stands up and waves. Rey grins. She waves back, and starts jogging up the hill. There's dirt on her hands and knees.

 

_21_

Rey and Poe are coming down the track, Poe's arm swung around Rey's shoulders, when Finn comes running towards them. He's flat out. When he stumbles to a halt, he's panting.

"Hey, slow down," Poe says, catching onto his windmilling arms. "What's going on?"

Rey holds Finn's hand.

"General Hux has been captured," Finn says. "He's getting brought in for interrogation. General Organa told me to find you."

 

_22_

General Hux is sitting in the chair, arms and legs bound. He's smiling softly to himself, fingers laced together. Poe takes a moment to watch. Finn's at his side, one hand squeezing into his forearm. Poe has never felt safer.

"You don't have to do this," Finn says. He is earnest - worried. Poe rests a palm on his shoulder, which is strong, and tries his best to ease him, and Finn grins, for a beat; Poe smiles, warmed; Poe opens the door and sits down opposite Hux, who glances up.

"You've lost," is the first thing Poe says. The light has turned the side of Hux's face yellow. Poe's fingers squeeze tight into his palms. "We're going to play a game. I'm gonna count to five, and when I'm done, you're going to tell me everything you know."

"Five?" Hux asks, voice blank. "Why five?"

Poe shrugs. "Nice round number," he says, and even he can sense the anger in his voice - he has to tone that down, he thinks, but it's like he's standing over himself, seeing all the things Hux has done spread out in front of him on tablets. Hux still has mud smeared across one cheek.

Hux nods, once. "If you insist," he says. "One."

 

_23_

"One," Poe says, and he bites his lip, and swallows. "You killed kids."

"One," Hux says. "I followed my orders. Tell me you wouldn't have done the same. Tell me that if it wasn't that soldier of yours on the line, you wouldn't have pulled the trigger."

Hux's mouth is a line. He isn't smiling anymore. That's good. Poe wants to hurt him. He wants to lunge across the table and strangle him.

"Nobody was being threatened," Poe says. "No one apart from yourself. You're a coward. That's all."

 

_24_

"Two," Hux murmurs, softly, "her name was Myrenna. She was my sister. I did what I had to do to protect her. They valued my skills. The Order wanted me. They would have taken her away, and sent her to one of their - their conditioning camps, to become a Stormtrooper. What would you have done, if you had been there?"

"Two," Poe says, "you should have left. You should have taken her and run."

Hux laughs. "There is nowhere you can run from them."

 

_25_

"Three," Poe says, "you commanded Starkiller base, and were, at least in part, responsible for the destruction of a planet."

"Three. I built a machine that was more beautiful than anything you could ever conceive." Hux leans forward. He is calming himself by an effort, Poe knows, and he shouldn't be - he shouldn't be, because that would give Poe an excuse to pull out his blaster and yell self-defence. "It was magnificent."

"It was a bucket of bolts." Poe shakes his head. "It wasn't worth more than the lives you took. You understand that, don't you? Or do you not get it? Is cold-blooded murder just something that - something that happens?"

The lives you took - Hux's life against his sister's. What had he called her? Myrenna? Myrenna Hux. How old had she been?

"You spoke about your sister in the past tense," Poe continues, forcing himself to speak. "Is she dead?"

Hux nods. "Yes. She is, now. She grew ill. It was of little consequence to the Order. They already had my services secured. I had nobody to return home to. So, you see, you cannot use her against me."

 

_26_

"Four. We never would have done that." Poe shifts in his seat. "Five years ago, we offered you the opportunity to work for us in exchange for information. You were, at that time, junior officer on the brig. Nobody would have noticed you were gone. We gave you a chance, and you threw it in our faces. What do you have to say to that?"

"Four. My sister was still breathing five years ago." Hux's fingers are white on the table-top. "Four. I was loyal. Four. There was nowhere I could run. Four. You didn't try hard enough."

Hux's teeth are bared. His eyes are wide.

 

_27_

"Five." Poe hesitates. "You worked with Kylo Ren. You were his, uh, confidant."

For the first time, Hux looks as though he's going to snap. "Confidant," he snarls. "Is that what you're calling it, now? If you want the truth, I do not know what I was to him. I hated him. He hated me, I am sure. But if you asked me if I could go back and be by his side again, I would say _yes_."

Hux is glad, Poe realises. Hux is _glad_. They're freeing him. This is no interrogation. This is a confession. Poe's sat in on enough of both to know the difference.

Poe gets to his feet. "We'll talk again tomorrow," he says. "Sleep tight."

"I wouldn't have expected anything less," Hux tells him. He closes his eyes. The guard opens the door for Poe, and lets him out.

"That bastard," Finn says afterwards. They're sitting in the cafeteria together. Finn's arm keeps on knocking against his own. Poe's skin tingles pleasantly. He takes a bite out of his roll, and forgets everything except the feeling of Finn's protection, and Rey's worried glances. "He deserves what's coming to him."

"I don't know," Poe says. He feels cold.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Finn's lying in bed. Poe's sitting on the end, watching him. Finn's hair is spread out around his head. He's breathing evenly and smiling._
> 
> _"Get over here," Finn says, and Poe starts. "Thought I was dead?"_

_28_

Finn's lying in bed. Poe's sitting on the end, watching him. Finn's hair is spread out around his head. He's breathing evenly and smiling.

"Get over here," Finn says, and Poe starts. "Thought I was dead?"

"Asleep, more like." Poe tries to push down the thoughts of Finn dying. That isn't going to help anyone. "You gave me a shock."

"I could tell." Raising himself up onto one elbow, Finn frowns at him. "Did you have a nightmare?"

"You say it like it's so easy to talk about," Poe says.

"It's one of my gifts." And it must be, because Poe's climbing in beside him. Finn's arm moves up to accommodate him; his body is hard beneath the layers of cloth. "There's a story about something like this - about somebody who sleeps for years. My room-mate in the Order heard it from a transfer shuttle"

"That's what I wanna do," Poe yawns. "What happened?"

"They woke up, in the end. They had to be kissed." Finn shifts, slightly. Poe can see the ridges of muscle in his chest. "I wouldn't mind that."

Poe's fingers run through Finn's hair - it's growing back, now, slowly but surely.

"Who's kissing somebody?" Rey asks, blinking the sleep out of her eyes. "I'm ready."

"Go to sleep," Poe tells her.

 

_29_

"I can't understand it," Rey says. "You tell _children_ these?"

"Well, yeah. They have life lessons in them, if you care to listen out." Poe swallows his potato, and continues, "Besides, it wasn't that bad, right?"

Voice holding just the slightest tremor, Rey replies, white-knuckled, "But the anooba ate the grandmother. How is that acceptable? Won't the kids have - nightmares?"

"The girl gets out okay, though," Poe says, "so that's alright. And anyway, the huntsman kills the anooba, and the grandmother pops out whole."

Slumping into the table, Rey buries her face in her hands. "This is too much. It's impossible."

Finn laughs at her side. "You're telling me." He chews on his bread, quickly. "The first time I heard one, I had bad dreams myself."

Poe laughs, too. He helps himself to another slice of meat - one of the ones with less gristle around it. "You'd have thought they'd have found better food for us by now," he murmurs, more to himself than Rey, "but yet, still no."

"I'm holding out hope," Rey says. "And how are these stories relatable, again?"

"They're all about life, I suppose." Poe runs a hand through his hair. He can't stop looking at Finn's gentle smile - it's coaxing, and makes him want to speak more, even though he'll probably trip over his own tongue. "Our experiences. There's probably one for us - the ex-trooper and the ace pilot. They might write our book."

"Next you'll be telling me there's a story where somebody gets broken out of prison," Finn says, shaking his head.

"Well," Poe gets out. "There kinda is this one."

Finn rolls his eyes. He cuts his food up carefully, into bite-sized pieces. It makes Poe self-conscious - normally, he just bolts his down. Finn's still staring at him, unblinking. There's a slight sauce-stain on his upper lip.

"You can't end it there," Finn says. "Don't leave me hanging."

Poe smiles - not only because he was the one who taught Finn to say that, but because Finn actually remembered it.

"It's called Rapunzel," Poe says, leaning forwards so that his elbow brushes Finn's, and their knees rub together. Poe's glad of the cooling air swimming around the canteen. "My mother read it to me when I was a kid, believe it or not."

Rey's nose wrinkles. "Is this the same mother who gave you your first gun aged four?"

Poe shrugs. "She was a great woman," he says, "sometimes, a little _too_ good."

Finn's chuckle hums deep and low in his chest. It seems to rise upwards through his throat - his neck actually pulsates - and then it comes bursting out of his mouth, and he's pitching forwards. Poe stares at him, awestruck. He only realises that he's chuckling, too, when Finn looks at him again.

There's something wonderful in the way Finn laughs. Maybe it's because he hasn't laughed in so long. Maybe it's because Poe made it happen.

"Rapunzel?" Finn prompts. "Sounds odd."

"It's about a girl locked up in a tower, without a door or windows. She's kept trapped there by her mother - or who she thinks is her mother."

Poe glances down. The side of Finn's hand is brushing against his own. Swallowing, Finn pulls back, adding another vegetable to his plate.

Poe smirks. He can't help himself. "The girl's called Rapunzel," he says. "It was a kind of, uh, old earth plant. Rapunzel's father broke into the witch's garden to steal some, and so the witch took his child away."

Two cadets jog by outside the window, plastic sheets over their heads to protect against the fast-falling rain. Mud runs through the gutters, mingling with the drainage. In a couple of days, this is going to turn into a problem. Right now, though, it's just a damn nuisance for pilots who want to take out their planes.

Poe returns to Finn to find that his grin has dropped away.

"Anyway," Poe says, "that happened. And one day, a prince happens to be riding past, and catches Rapunzel's eye. He gets up because she throws down her hair, which is long and smooth and the colour of gold, and can reach all the way down to the ground."

"Extreme," Rey mutters, buttering a piece of bread. "And unbelievable."

Poe snorts. "Do you wanna hear my tale or not?"

"I have a feeling you're gonna give it to us anyway, whether we like it or not." Finn's definitely reaching out, this time. His finger taps against Poe's. "If it matters, I do."

"They make up this, ah, plan to escape, the prince and Rapunzel."

"Does the prince get a name?"

"Of course not. He's an attractive faceless entity. Let me tell in peace." Poe settles himself more comfortably in their chair, so that Finn's feet are in-between his. Poe wonders if Finn notices. He hopes that he doesn't. "Now. Where was I?"

"A plan."

"Right. So, the prince comes by every day, and he brings silk - and from this, Rapunzel starts to build a ladder, which she hides from her mother somehow. I don't know. Her mother's away a lot. It isn't important. But then the mother - the witch - finds out. And she cuts off Rapunzel's hair, and sends her away into the desert."

"What happens to the prince?" Rey asks.

"Oh, the witch shoves him out of a window. He's blinded."

The look in Finn's eyes makes Poe shiver. "What else? There's gotta be more."

"They find each other, of course. Rapunzel cries into the prince's eyes, and he can see again. And then, presumably, they go and beat up with witch. The story gets a little muddled. There are plenty of different versions. In most of them, Rapunzel goes home to her family."

"Are they in love? The prince and - her."

The light from the window slants off the side of Finn's face. He's handsome, Poe thinks, with a start - and every time he thinks it, it throws him off. He can't help himself. Finn laughs beautifully, and his face is open, and he's kind and cares.

"She saves the day," Poe pushes out. "And they live happily ever after. Does it matter?"

Nodding, Finn takes Poe's hand. His fingers are warm. They're scraped. It's not how Poe imagined it would be. It's more gentle. He'd always figured it would happen in the middle of a fight, where Finn's judgment wasn't as good as it'd be normally - or else Poe would summon up all the charm he could and do it right. He didn't count on it going on here, with the smell of sweat and summer rain around them.

"It does," Finn says. "To me. It matters."

"She could find somebody else. Just because she met the prince first, it doesn't mean that they'll - that they - "

Poe is cut off by the arrival of Jessika. Finn's hand falls away.

"Who's the prince?" she says.

"I am." Poe holds up his hands. "Guilty."

"Kriff, I knew it!" Jessika slaps her hands together. "Agh. This meat is the pits. Whadd'ya think, Finn? Better or worse than the Order?"

Poe can't stop himself from flinching. Jessika doesn't mean any harm, he knows. It's still difficult to hear the words. She doesn't treat Finn like he's an outsider, or somebody who should be tiptoed around. The second one is more than Poe can manage.

"Worse," Finn says, surprising Poe; he can't help the choking he does afterwards. Jessika slaps him on the back. "I gotta go."

Without another word, Finn's on his feet, dragging his jacket around from the back of the chair. It fits Finn so much better than it ever did Poe.

"What's up with him?" Jessika asks, throwing her thumb back over her shoulder.

"Nothing," Poe says. "Drop it."

 

_30_

Poe finds Finn sitting on the roof. It's the end of the day. Poe's clothes are spattered in dirt. He must look a mess, and Finn's just there, serene and perfect. His legs are crossed under him.

Lowering himself to the ground, Poe tries to ignore the creaking in his joints. "I'm practically an invalid," he jokes. "I'm surprised they let me fly."

"When I was a kid, I never got any books," Finn says. "They taught us to read off screens."

The anger flares hot inside him without warning. Poe stands. He goes to the edge of the roof, and grabs a rock, and throws it. It falls to the ground and bounces down among the garden's bushes. Poe turns. Finn's watching him, wary, eyes narrowed.

"I can't stand it," Poe says. "How can you just talk about it? How can you just - "

"It was my life, Poe. It was everything I had. You've got something to compare it with." Finn looks back out towards the paddock's fencing. Beyond it lies a long slope of green, dotted with signal towers. "I never truly hated them until I saw them hurt you."

Poe drags Finn to his feet by one hand. They stand face to face. Finn's breath puffs against Poe's lips. There's something in the set of Finn's face that seems almost familiar, but it's gone before Poe can put a finger on what.

Brushing down the sleeves of Finn's coat, Poe smiles. He pats him on the shoulder. As he moves to step back, Finn says, "I love you, Poe."

Poe shakes his head. "No. I'm not - I'm not a hero. I'm not the man everybody says that I am. The Resistance has got to have its figurehead. That's what the General told me, the day I was promoted. That's all that I am, Finn. I'm a shell. An empty bunch of nothing. The Order pulled it out of me."

The skin of his left hand breaks. Poe looks down at his clenched fists. Finn's silent. His breathing is even.

"If I was ever going to be a hero," Poe says, "I would have stayed at home, and helped people. I wouldn't have followed my mother. I'd have become a healer, a teacher, a diplomat. Not this."

"What if I don't want a hero?" Finn says. "What if I just want you?"

"You'd be the first."

"A beast," Finn says quietly. "Which one of us is that, do you think?"

"Finn," Poe starts, "you can't - "

"I can mean it. I do mean it. Look at me meaning it!" Finn spreads his arms wide. He takes a step away. Poe is almost forced off balance. He stumbles sideways, grabbing onto Finn's shoulder for support, and then because he doesn't want to release it. "You told me about a man who was cursed. Doesn't that fit?"

"No," Poe says. "No. You had your own mind. That's all. You were brave."

"I was selfish. I lied. I stole a ship. I betrayed everything and everyone I'd ever stood for. And you know why?" Finn steps closer. His fingers jams into the space above Poe's heart. "Because I was scared I was going to die without ever knowing why I'd been living."

"That wasn't the beast," Poe says. "He knew he'd done something wrong, and couldn't repair it. It was the person he loved who - who - wasn't sure, and who - wanted out."

Finn's legs slump. "I don't," he says. "I'm not - _Poe_."

"I love _you_ ," Poe says, and holds Finn close. "I love you, and Rey loves you, and we're going to be just fine."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _There's a story from a long time ago; it talks about a Lady and a magic mirror and a curse._

_31_

There's a story from a long time ago; it talks about a Lady and a magic mirror and a curse.

Poe's never put much stock in it. His mother used to read to him when he was in bed, but she always got lost in it herself, and he had to prod her back into reality. She'd look at him - a little dazzled, a little dazed - and stare, for a moment, remembering his name.

Poe would laugh, because barley and early don't rhyme, and what _is_ barley, anyway?

That doesn't change the story though. There's a man in a tower with a looking glass - or maybe it's a woman, the versions are muddled - and he's waiting for someone to be in love with, only he can't touch them, because he's too high up and he has his back turned and shoulders raised.

Finn fights that way - teeth gritted, knuckles out. He swings like every touch is going to be the one to take Poe out. Poe shouldn't like it as much as he does. It shows heart. That's what they all need, around here - a little more soul. 

The mirror's more of a looking glass, really. That's how the Lady can see the world - if she gets up and goes to the window, she dies.

Poe grew up in a house where the door was locked and the curtains were drawn. When the Troopers barged down the walls, he was thirteen. He killed three, he thinks, but can't remember. His parents were pilots. They had been Rebellion leaders. Poe had been proud of them before he'd known the meaning of the words. 

 _The mirror crack'd from side to side_. That's what it is, isn't it? Sometimes, Poe thinks that he's the woman - or maybe the man - but most often, he's the pane of glass, reflecting his mother's world back to her. _The mirror crack'd_.

Rey never had to hurt anybody on Jakku. She was safe, and she had a bed to sleep in, but she still dreamed. That's one of the most beautiful things about her. She wanted more than she had, and she fought for it, and she _found_ it. 

"What are you looking at?" Finn asks. He's smiling softly, hanging over the side of his bed to peek downwards. They sleep in the same bunk, now. Finn used to be across the hall from him. Poe could hardly stand it.

"Something old," Poe says, and holds it up. "It was my ma's favourite, back when I was small."

Finn peers down at the spine, squinting. There's a creaking, the old familiar heft, and then they're sitting together, side by side. "Looks good," he says. "Read me some?"

They're never orders, with Finn. At the academy, it used to be look sharp; stand straight; eyes in front, soldier. That was before Poe got behind the wheel of a plane - and oh, how she flew!

Finn uses his words sparingly, and with care. It's a dance, sometimes, to find his meaning. Poe can't find it in himself to mind. The result is worth his effort - Finn's chuckle, Finn's hand warm in his own.

Poe takes in a breath, and says, "On either side the river lie / Long fields of barley and of rye / That clothe the wold and meet the sky."

"Like flying," Finn interrupts in a breath, eyes far away. "Sorry. Could you - keep going?"

"Sure," Poe says, but he means, anything. "And thro' the field the road runs by / To many-tower'd Camelot - that's a, uh, a city - it used to be, anyway, a heck of a long time ago."

"Camelot," Finn whispers. He says the word like he's savouring it - it drips from the edges of his tongue, from his peach-coloured lips. Poe swallows. His mouth is dry; he wipes his hands along the length of his trousers.

"The yellow-leaved waterlily / The green-sheathed daffodilly / Tremble in the water chilly / Round about Shalott."

Finn's chest moves in time to the words. Poe waits for him to finish, allowing the silencer to build. His mother had said, once, that suspense was a grander art than the result.

"Willows whiten, aspens shiver. / The sunbeam showers break and quiver / In the stream that runneth ever / By the island in the river."

And it's the island they're on now; Finn's got his feet in the water, and Poe's lounging by the streams, and the tower's singing overhead, or the woman is - and Four grey walls / Four grey towers / Overlook a space of flowers.

"No time hath she to sport and play: / A charmed web she weaves alway. / A curse is on her, if she stay / Her weaving, either night or day, / To look down to Camelot."

"So she's cursed? Somebody's hunting her?" Finn's sagging against the back wall. He seems a little lost.

Poe shrugs, and smiles. "She knows not what the curse may be; / Therefore she weaveth steadily, / Therefore no other care hath she, / The Lady of Shalott."

Finn settles sideways. He brushes along Poe's sleeve, and casts a glance his way - apologetic? Poe can't tell. Finn's eyes are burnished, practically.

"'I am half sick of shadows,' said / The Lady of Shalott."

They're close together now, shoulder to shoulder. Finn's eyes are closed and lidded. The shadows are streaming through the blinds. Gently, Poe sets the book down between them.

 

_32_

"If you could go anywhere," Rey says, "and do anything, what would it be?" 

Poe rolls over onto his stomach. The grass is warm; he pulls at the stems with his hands. "Ah, he says, "now that's a tricky one." 

Rey's laughter sends a warm spiral pooling into the pit of his stomach. "If you had to choose." 

 

_33_

Poe's shaken awake. "Poe," Rey says, "Poe, you have to get up. There's a ship coming - Troopers." 

Poe reaches for his gun. He can't breathe. He grabs Rey's hand before he can think, and she be it away, sliding underneath the bed for her lightsaber. They run out towards the launch pad together. Rey's faster than he is; Poe has to sprint to catch up. 

Finn's already there, one hand raised over his eyes, gazing upwards - like there's something up there only he can see, something sacred, something precious. "They're not attacking," he says, and he sounds the words out, one by one, slowly. 

Poe feels as though his knees are going to buckle. He holds himself upright by force of will alone, and by the pressure of Rey's hand on his back. 

 

_34_

Their names are FN-2356, AN-1190, GY-2238 and GY-2230. GY-2230 looks around fifteen years old. His twin brother is crying. 

Poe can't stop looking at them. They're being debriefed by General Organa. She's smiling softly, with only the barest hint of panic. AN-1190 seems to have taken the lead. She also seems about to burst into tears. 

"I don't know," AN-1190 says, for what must be the thirteenth time, "I don't know anything. Nobody told us anything."

"Nobody told her," FN-2356 says, his hand in hers, "we don't know. Nobody told us. We're just Troopers. We don't have any say."

Finn walks out. Poe follows him. Finn's sitting in the corridor with his head in his hands. Poe crouches, holding Finn's shoulder as hard as he dares. 

"Hey," Poe says, "they'll be alright. They're adjusting."

"I can't help them," Finn says, and he meets Poe's eyes. His hands are warm. Poe swallows.

"We're going to," Poe tells him.


End file.
